I wonder what they're fighting about. The Shadow was saved from the mouths of four farm dogs almost a year at a time. I'm not sure why people put unwanted and unloved pets in Aunt Nan's house because she has some pretty scary dogs there.
One night, Shadow looks innocent lying in my arms. He's always ready to start a fight. ;-)We couldn't resist. Shadow was a kitten, and we had nowhere to go, and we know that Boots and Crispie are recovering at their age. We bought them houses for Easter weekend when my son, who was in college, was 8 or 9. So even though they look great, I think these cats are recovering. Maybe even cats as old as me. This year, I turned 44.
I always accuse Chrispie of "apologizing". Not long ago, but he sleeps. But he's been part of our family for a long time, and even though he's not that smart, we care about him. I'm not the kind of woman who's ashamed of her age. Maybe you should be. My students don't know how old I am, maybe it's because I'm a little off. Most of the time I feel like I'm 18, except when I'm on my left knee next to them and I feel a snap.
Shadow is lucky, but Shadow is the new stable cat fighting for the same pillow and a favorite spot on Kip's lap. However, here I see Shadow and Krispy and I wonder why they will always fight.
I'll tell you why they always fight. They fight because it's the Shadow that starts it. Always.
And now... You can be a Catholic and know all about why cats really fight, but come here with me.
There are many colleagues like the Shadow. Innocent when the boss is around, but causing trouble as soon as he turns around. We need a peaceful environment for the children.There are animals that fight as a way of life. There are also people who do that. A good fight with a redheaded look is what they do. They're like shadows, always circling around someone who's ready to attack. Someone for fun, and someone because they've seen it at home, and a thousand other reasons why psychologists will give you a lecture. Why people fight is not an easy thing to do.
Don't let it be you. You can do whatever you want with another guy, but you can control yourself.
Don't let it be in front of the students. I hate it when adults tie themselves up in front of children. Whether it's one parent jumping on teachers (which is never good) or two teachers disagreeing, it should be outside or away.
Children are very black and white. I "like" or "don't like" you. How many times have you been approached and told "he's not my friend anymore"?
They don't understand how adults can have heated professional disagreements about the subject at work, but they still enjoy lunch together. That's not what they do.
Avoid them if you can. I just found out that some people look like the Shadows, and it's best to avoid them. I don't know why Slingshot Sally or Bakshot Bill are always armed and ready to go, but you shouldn't involve them. You shouldn't ruin your day and take them away.
Learn to be wise when you're dealing with tough people. It's a shame that some people can be so difficult to deal with, but there are reasons. Early in my career, I was listening to a series of tapes called "Dealing with Tough People" and on the cover of the book, two people were shaking hands. One of them had green, thorny hands, like the skin of a cactus.
That day a shadow (in the picture of my leg) joined us, and we had no idea that we were taking a firecracker. It is relentlessly bothering other cats. Some in the schools do it too.It's a great picture for me because it reminds me that some people naturally have trouble shaking hands. If I want to be a person who likes this life, if I can learn to be firm but gentle. If I can be wise in the way I use my voice (Did you know that if you lower your voice and make it quieter during a break, you can disqualify a conversation?)
Treat it like a game. I admit I've done it before. I've seen how many days in a row I can get along with certain people. Understand that "getting along" and "giving up" are two different things. You have to get up and be professional. I just realized that I have to play my part in all this. It won't escalate unless I let it escalate. I even made a deal with my husband: "If I don't get involved in this all week, I'll get an award." It sounds stupid, but it works and it lowers my blood pressure.
Because we love children, we want them to have a good learning environment, not a toxic one.
Get up when you need to. If you constantly argue with a difficult man, he'll never know when it's something big or small. There are times when you need to get angry. Some angry people are punks. Unfortunately, I've found that many bullies only understand one thing: someone stands in front of them as they are used to. It happens... not as much as you think... when you have to get up. When you need to defend yourself, or when something isn't done right for a child. I hate to lose my temper and do it rarely, but there are times when you have to go to an out-of-the-way place and deal with it.
Make sure it's not you. It's also important to assess the circumstances. I'm doing a test for my spouse. If there's someone at work that I always go home to and mention Kip, and he knows I'm fighting, then I have a problem. I wonder if this person is connected to other people. If it's known that they're fighting, then I relax and start working on strategies to get along. If they are not arguing with many people but with me, then it is time to look at my own actions and behavior. What am I doing to cause this?
Power and personality differences are often two components of this. Some even have triggers because someone reminds them of someone else. It's sad, but it's true.
Why is it so important to preserve peace?
We're not a Fortune 500 business. We're not Wall Street or the Capitol building or the street behind it. We work in the schools. We're working with the leaders of tomorrow.
Sometimes the kids can't hear what we're saying because our actions are too strong.
Think about their circumstances. Every year they are abandoned along with 30 people they don't know. I hope that there are a few that they love, but there are always children that they can't stand. They can't leave. They cannot ask for a transfer (usually not.) They cannot say if they will be in that school or in that class. No, not at all. They have to get along.
All these children have is a nascent psyche that learns to get along with others and examples they see every day. They're watching us. How do we get along? How do we argue? Is our school a good place? Do people smile at each other? Do they ever smile? Do some teachers like to be together? Do we have any interests outside of school?
Toxic Environment, School of Toxics
When the environment is toxic, people know it, but more importantly, children know it. Unfortunately, they know.
When times get tough, many people struggle to stay positive. It becomes a working relationship and a family. There are wonderful people among us who may be dealing with unfair treatment.
But there's a chance between us. I'll tell you what a lot of you say to children: "Why can't we get along?"
In our school, the rule is that if the kids fight, they both go to the office. We can't have kids fighting at school.
But in some schools (as I heard) the disagreement between colleagues, the administration, and even parents and teachers is quite poisonous. We have a double standard. Kids fight and go to the office, but two colleagues publicly disagree, and often the principal will be the last to know. Some principals even make the mistake of making a decision before hearing arguments from both sides in adults when they never do with the children.
If your school or building is poisonous because of one or more people, I simply ask you - for the love of the children - to take action to address this problem. Many relationships are not as simple as the advice I gave here. Toxic environments are bad for everyone. Toxicity often starts at the top. If more school boards, administrators, and teachers understood that these are relationships, many schools would be better off.
When school boards argue and force people to take sides on unimportant issues, it is not good for the school system. Some issues are important to take sides, but we have to understand that we all have to be on the same side when it comes to the school itself. There is time to make decisions and move forward. There is always time to be together and get along for the sake of the school and the children.
If there is an adult who cannot keep his temper and always pours it out on people, maybe this person at work is not good at temperament.
My Aunt Chandra has been answering the phone at the local public school for over 30 years - she never gets mad at anyone. She was a gift to this school because she was a gracious first-time caller. She was missed when she left. When I was a manager in the business world, I made sure that the first voice she heard
Let's love children. Let's think of them. Let's do whatever it takes to work together and get along, the future is counting on us. Not all schools have these problems, but it is enough to do what is worth writing about. These are difficult times for schools, teachers and administrators, but we have to deal with difficult problems without being cruel or argumentative. We have to be functional in the way we disagree and understand that when we struggle to cope, there are often signs of deeper problems that need to be addressed.
So the cats are asleep and it's time to clean up the kitchen. I think even fussy kittens can get tired sometimes.